Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Or does it?
At least for me it does...
You know, I'm never good at managing relationships.
I always screw them up because I'm too sensitive about stuff.
I always screw them up because I get jealous easily, and upset over small stuff.
What more a long distance "relationship"?
And usually, I just keep it bottled up.
Why should I let anyone know anyway?
Well, at the very least, I should let you know, because it concerns you?
But then again, I know it gets annoying when you have your own problems too.
Sometimes, all I want is just a 5 minute update of your life, or to update you of mine and hear you just respond to that.
We're 10,000 miles apart, on the other side of the planet.
And really, based on that, we don't have time for each other already.
I try, my best to keep myself awake so I could talk to you, even when I've got to get up at 3a.m. the next day.
But now, everything has been reduced to a stupid mailbox system whereby I drop you a text and get a reply perhaps 1 day later...
Is it really that hard to communicate?
I don't want to pick quarrels with you all the time.
But it seems like that's the only way to get us talking...
It's either I pick a fight, or keep things to myself, not wanting to bother you.
Sometimes, the things I do to get your attention... ridiculous.
I feel like a little heartbroken boy going on and on about this.
I'm not heartbroken...
I'm just upset about how things aren't working out, and I can't do anything about it.
I can't be the strong ZH i am...
It takes two hands to clap...
And if only you would tell me how you really feel about everything.
I know you've said it, to set aside our feelings for the moment.
I know you've said you hated the distance too.
I've come to the point where I've to reassure myself that everything's going to be okay...
I don't want to lose my feelings towards you.
But holding on has become so tough, especially when it seems so... distant, physically, mentally and emotionally.
I don't want to break my promise I made... to hold on to my feelings till I see you again.
But if you would tell me to hold on... you don't know how much strength that gives me.
I want to travel the states with you once I'm done with my programme.
I want to fulfill the dreams we both made together, milking cows in a farm.
I want to go back to see a Beagle we'll both own.
I want to have desserts and laugh at you again.
I want to hold you in my arms again...
I will hold on, for the memories we made to occur again...
But if only you would help me, and tell me everything'll be okay.
Sorry I'm such a pussy, whining all the time.
I'm just not like many of you, who can just "not care" about things...