omg it's zh!

So why this picture?
I'm not as random as others to put a photo for no reason!

Yekai: Look in the dustbin!
zh: Something disgusting is it? I'm eating here.
Yekai: No, there's a water boiler inside!
zh: O_O"
-Continues walking-
yekai: Hey, move to the side. there's a bus behind.
zh: -breaks into laughter-

I know this sounds like a mistake that anyone could make anyday.
But yekai made it sound so funny la.
I was like, why was there a bus on the pavement?! ._.
Okay, better not that funny. =.=

Went studying today.
I'm done with Index number, Regression, ANOVA and Chi Square.
SAY YAY!
That's a whole lot of things okay.
I tried doing the 07/08 paper.
I could attempt everyone except Probabilty, which I haven't studied.
HAHAHHAA, it makes me happy.

After that, went gym with Patricia and Yekai.
We left quite early for the stadium.
Hahahaha.
We ran up and down the tall stairs(or whatever you call it) 10 times!
It may sound like a piece of cake.
YOU SHOULD TRY IT!
I was panting like crazy after that!
Then I did 50 sit ups and I don't know how many crunches(?).
I couldn't stand up, it was that horrible, but I feel much more pac-cy now! (LOL omg at language.)

TIREDDDDD.
I've got to study tomorrow.
So, good night! (:

AHHHH!
SCREW FOM!
My chances of getting top 10 in class is gone.
Yes, I did want to get top 10 in class ._.
The questions in the paper were phrased differently.
And because I memorized everything purely, I couldn't understand how the questions were phrased.
Like they used middlemen in the question, but in the notes, they used channel members. (?!)
There are more that I just can't remember.
Whatever it is, FOM's over.
Get over it, there's still Statistics to redeem myself.

I'm not expecting the paper to be easy at all.
I have 6 days to prepare for the paper.
I know I can do this.
I'm determined to get at least a B for statistics!
I'm not as bright as most of the guys in class, who can do last minute work and still beat me when the results come in.
So I have to start now, TODAY.
I've been doing tutorial, so I don't see why I should do badly! @_@.
However, theres a flaw to my plan, which I will not mention to demoralise myself.
I CAN DO IT! :D

I don't want to be a burden anymore, but how am I going to do it?
Hmmm.

Went to Plaza Sing with Marvelettes and most of the class guys today.
Ate Ajisen for the very first time in my life!
Don't blame me for being a mountain tortoise okay!
I bet there's at least something that I've done that you haven't.
HAH!
Then went to the arcade to catch stuff for wendy.
I played with the Sweet machine and got a Stitch couple!
HAHAHAHA.
After that, the guys went to Cathay for a movie.
LITTLE BIG SOLDIER.
I think this is one of the worst movies I've ever watched, next to Cloverfield and Planet 51.
There is no story plot, too much dialogue, too little action, not as funny as I thought.
Pretty disappointed with the movie.
But who cares when Wang Lee Hom is acting in the movie.
Girls wouldn't mind watching the movie like 10 times. =.=
ROFL, went home after the movie.

Okay, better start studying, bye! (:

Furg.
Tomorrow's FOM and I'm totally not prepared.
I only finished writing my own notes.
But my revision is nowhere near done!
SHITTTTT.

The chances of failing is quite low.
But I want to do well, you know?
Yeah, I think I'd get like a C or something.
Statistics is going to be worse.

Anyway, after the paper tomorrow, the class is going to Plaza Sing to celebrate Wendy's birthday.
It's going to cost a bomb!
AJISEN!
-headdesk-

And I wonder what's wrong with my hand.
My left hand feels very weak.
I have no control over my last finger.
It feels like it isn't part of me.
I can move it, but only just a little bit.
It feels damn annoying.
It makes you feel useless.
Crap, symptoms of Parkinson's disease or something, if you know what that is.
My left hand shivers whenever I touch anything.
AHHHHH.

I'll never be the same.
If we ever meet again.
Won't let you get away.
Say if we ever meet again.

KATY PERRY :3

SCREW PACC!
It was freaking... okay I guess, LOL.
There were tough questions and easy ones.
Some very ambiguous questions which I think I got wrong.
And of course, a whole lot of careless mistakes, as always!
I screwed inventory up!
SHIT SHIT SHIT, READ THE DAMN QUESTION OMG.
I'm still hoping for an A for PACC!
And I'm praying that Wendy passes.
Don't want to see her forward PACC or anything.
I feel guilty for checking my question paper repeatedly in the train, can see she got kinda, upset cause of it.
SORRY WENDY! ):<
Shit, I feel upset too, stupid paper.

It's okay, there are still 3 more papers to prove myself!

I think Peiying is really very funny.
Oh my gosh. ._.

I felt kinda distracted when studying at the waffle shop today.
I was totally turned off by my book.
And instead, was listening to something else!
SHEESH, I NEED TO STUDY IN HILLTOP ALREADY.

FOM IS ONE WEDNESDAY!
JIAYOUUUUUUUUUUUU! :D

-hops off randomly-

This feeling of emptiness is back.
Where is that sense of accomplishment I used to have?
Where is that sense of belonging?
They've been lost over these years.
When I've been too caught up doing things that aren't at all important.
Doing stupid things that will do nothing but screw up my life.

._.
Sucks to be me.

I think I made a wrong choice to do all those stupid things.
History's repeating itself.
Shit, please go away.
Don't make me feel this way, cause nothing ain't going to go how I want it to.
So just stop, stop right here, right now.
Say goodbye.

Maybe people get sick and tired of some things I do.
But why?
I don't know why I act a certain way, which is just not up to me to decide if I want to change or not.
Somethings should just remain the way it is, no matter how bad it is?

Pfft, the times when I throw a hissy fit.

THE SONGS SECTION IS BACK! :D

Even though few or almost no people visit my blog, I felt that there was a need to put the songs section back up again.
My top 10 favourite songs at the moment!

Errr, yay? (:

I swear to learn how to cam whore more professionally next time.
I don't know how to turn off the flash!
This was what I wore today, and I think my shirt's damn nice.

Anyway...
I feel a deep sense of guilt.
Initially, my dad wanted to catch a movie at 9+ later.
I didn't really feel like watching, so I told them that.
And in the end, my whole family ended up not going!
This is horrible, eh, sorry dad.

I think I've a mum who's extremely... what do you call that? Noble?
I remember 4 years ago, my family went to Hong Kong with my aunt(mum's sister) and my grandma.
There was one night when my 5(?) year old cousin had a fall.
So my aunt blamed my brother for pushing my cousin.
However, my brother said he did not.
And so... my aunt confronted my brother, where I fought with my aunt.
She almost slapped me for being extremely rude to her.
I didn't like her then, so I didn't care if I was rude or not. (does this even make sense)
So my aunt confronted my mum, and they fought.
Surprisingly, my mum stood on our side and I think that caused their sistership(?!) to deteriorate.
So, I saw my aunt today and she still wasn't talking to my mum!
I think I was really insensible to cause their relationship to become like this.
But that ain't my point.
Point is, my mum sacrifices a lot for the 3 of us, but we haven't really done anything for her.
We're horrible kids aren't we?
It's time i did something for my mum...

/random: Awww, my dad bought roses for my mum today and kissed her.
That's something I don't think I'd ever do, HAHAHA.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR AND VALENTINE'S DAY!
I've got no valentine );

I don't know how long has it been already.
Like few years?

Mahjong session with SHIOKOLATESSS and PY this wednesday, yay?
Peifen's like some gambling goddess.
She was like,"Play Mahjong need learn one meh?"
ROFL, I think I'm going to lose like my whole fortune?

Ah well, shall get going.
REUNION DINNER! :D

Let me learn to trust again.
Time for me to really grow up.

Thank you for making my life miserable.
We'll see who gets the last laugh when you actually come in contact with something so unforgettable.
Something that will crush you.
Idiot.

It always demoralises me.
And I ask myself, what do I deserve?

It sucks not going to school.
-.-
I'm at home, staring at the computer like some no life geek.
Pfft.

I think I need a counsellor, urgently.
My old problem is back.
I remember I had this problem in the past, where I couldn't stop thinking about death.
It's back, and this time I think I'm going insane because of it.
Life sucks when you've got loads of this kinda problems.
Sometimes, I feel death very near me.
I toss and turn in bed at night when it's all dark and these thoughts just automatically come to my mind.
I feel as though I'm going to face death soon.
The feeling is just very scary.

So what will happen when I die?
Where do I go?
Does my mind just go blank?
Will I just blackout?
Would it feel as though I'm sleeping?
Will I become a spirit?
All the stupid questions just scare me. );

Argh.

But life goes on.
My mum told me once that as long as we life our life to the fullest, we will die with no regrets.
Can't we just live forever?
CRAPPPPP. T_T.
Another person I know leaves this world...
I really don't know what to do except cry -.-

I think it's really ridiculous that some people of the class were just countering our arguments for the sake of doing it, bringing out stupid points so that we could give stupid answers. I didn't even have time to prepare with weather and OM before and after CRS. I can't understand why some people in class just couldn't sympathize. I'm not saying that I shouldn't be blamed for my sloppy work, but think about it, some people in class don't even have GEMs test and are not even presenting this week. Was there a need to counter our arguments till we were completely disgraced right there and then? I don't want a D for CRS, or worse, fail. This made me kinda pissed today.

I went to the gym today with Patricia and Yekai!
Yup, the one by the swimming pool in Woodlands.
I think I owe Aukee an apology, for not informing her about the change in time.
Sorry Aukee! );<
Anyway, I think I'm going to horrible aches tomorrow.
I think I worked out quite a bit.
We ran, cycled(?), sit-up-ed(?), pulled this and that, lifted this and that. And I did 3 pull ups!
I shall aim for 4 pull ups the following week.
Then I will reach my target of 10 by my NAPFA test!
Then I'd be training by 2.4 run which is obviously horrible.
And my shuttle run.
Oh, not to forget my Standing Board(?) Jump.
Why not I say train everything.
I MUST GET SILVER BY NATIONAL SERVICE!
JIAYOU YEKAI, MUST GET SILVER TOGETHER.
Patricia's damn funny.
She said she will grow huge arms if she lifted stuff.
NOT LIKE ITS VERY EASY TO GROW MA, TSK.

I am proud of myself today.
I actually studied after the tiring thing at the gym.
Actually only 1 chapter OM, but its an achievement okay! :D
I shall continue after buying some stationery -.-"

I went shopping the past two days.
On saturday, I went to Queensway but ended only eating Laksa there without buying anything.
Then back at causeway, I walked around with Pat, Aukee and Shenghao.
And I bought a relatively nice T-shirt at 77th Street.
Funny thing is, I ended up buying my clothes from Causeway Point.
I'm going to Cotton On to buy the checkered shirt which I'm kinda in love with.
Oh and the pants which is Silver in colour at Man Master.
The love, wooooooo!

Then today, went to walk around Causeway with Benjamin and Shenghao.
We bought nothing actually.
After that, we went to Bugis.
I was looking forward to buy lots of stuff there, but only ended up buying bermudas which I thought were damn pretty.
I think I bought the wrong size.
I was wondering, since when did my ass grow as tight as Shenghao's ass?
Then we went to Vivo, to end up not buying anything once again.
Then had fun bitching in the MRT about others.
Especially the girl who wanted to "act" infront of the caucasion.
I think he must be thinking something like," Asians have horrible English standard."
Anywayyy, I had a great time today, at the gym and shopping.

I think my friends are damn cool and funny.
Especially those I met up with today. (:

P.S.: I'm not a LF (Lousy friend/Lousy Fizzy) okay Patricia. :P

I've got a sudden urge to go sing K-box with my classmates.
Okay, that was pretty much random.
I like can't stop singing at home.

I actually wanted to study when I got home.
Now I feel so restless.
I don't feel like studying at all now -.-"
It always happens like this.
I want to get top 10 in class for this semester.
So I've got to work really hard.
I JUST CAN'T FIND THE MOTIVATION TO STUDY!
Hmmm, maybe I can add some achievenments, and recognition and oh, not to forget growth!
LOL, okay lame.

The week's finally over!
Kassie gave me a tube of sweets today.
And she said it was a gift of apology for misunderstanding.
She got angry with me yesterday over something.
Then she said she couldn't fall asleep so she decided to buy sweets to like... yeah.
So sweet of her right.

._.
Okay.
I'm going shopping with Ben and Hao tomorrow.
It better be real shopping, not the thing Shenghao usually does.
LOL!

Okay byebye.

Got pissed today -.-"
Pfft.

I'm bored.
Finished OM and I really don't feel like doing anything else.
ROFL.

Just finished dinner.
-burp-

It was kinda disappointing today.
Let's start with the FOC facilitators training.
We were assigned our positions for camp today.
It's kinda predictable what department I got into right?
Medic. -.-
Okay, I've got to admit I chose this.
But I wasn't given the option I wanted and were left with trashy options.
So I chose medic, instead of logistics.

It kinda pissed me off a bit when I don't get to choose.
They could have standardized the whole selection thing.
I don't get why some clusters get to play Black and White to decide who gets the position.
Or at least I heard.
But as for my cluster, the OCs chose our group leaders.
I joined the damn FOC because I wanted to be a group leader.
Not some damn medic.
Worse of all, I wasn't given a chance.
The OCs picked who they THOUGHT were high, or THOUGHT who was suitable.
Oh so what if I didn't express myself like how some others did?
I don't deserve a chance and I'm to be given a position that no one else wants?
Since there was a high demand for the group leader position, they could have balloted.
Ya whatever, maybe I didn't deserve it.
But did everyone the OCs picked deserve it?
I don't know.
Sorry Tony, but I am against the way the positions are selected.
Whats the point of asking us fill up the forms at the interview when it wasn't going to be referred back to?
Damn it.

I think my cluster is starting to dislike me.
I ain't high to begin with.
I'm always full of complaints like now.
And because of the incident today, I think they dislike me even more -.-"
They asked who was medically qualified at the start.
I didn't raise my hand, because I wanted a shot at the group leaders' position.
They didn't offer it to me even thought I showed I wanted it.
They just wrote down names of who they liked.
They asked us who objected to it?
Was I supposed to raise my damn hand and say, I WANT, AND I WANT WHOEVER TO BE REMOVED.
Duh no, that was a redundant question when you already knew what the answer is.
Back to the topic.
Then events, I didn't want it cause I'm a freaking timid person and I DO NOT WANT TO DO NIGHT WALK.
Food was quickly taken by JinSheng.
There was only logistics and medic left.
Joshua raised his hand for medic, and since I didn't want logistics, I raised my hand for medic and said that I had a certificate -.-
So everyone just made lots of noise.
Especially those who got the positions they wanted.
They didn't know how unhappy the rest were did they?
And so I took medic from Joshua and Jasmine.
Then some of the people just started showing attitude.
Pfft.

I bet there are many people way more pissed than I am with today.
Especially Joshua and Jasmine.
I apologise.
And by the way, I would like to make a clear stand that...
A MEDICALLY QUALIFIED PERSON DOES NOT NECESSARILY ENJOY BEING A MEDIC.
=.=, I don't want to be stuck doing this the rest of my life.

Okay, at least I got cheered up by Irene even though she didn't go for the training.
She said, okay, nevermind, at least I get to learn first aid, and the main thing is to have fun!
Yeah, have fun.
Hope that really happens.

Actually thats the only thing I'm unhappy about.
.____________________________."
I am really tempted to say the F word.
BAH.