omg it's zh!

Food and Beverage Management CA2 is finally over!
And we realised that our group actually has quite a lot of content, compared to other groups.
Looks like we've belittled ourselves, HAHAHA!
This calls for celebration.
Let's have some... duck rice for dinner!
-.- this is absolutely random.

My phone's down.
I have no idea why my SIM card isn't working.
It hangs every phone I put it in.
Worst of all, the nearest Starhub service centre is at Dhoby Ghaut.
Horrible sense of geographical segmentation.
I don't know when I would get the time to go all the way down there to fix the stupid problem.
Luckily, I'm going for Singtel soon.
Singtel better had service centres more widespread throughout Singapore. -.-
If not, they better not screw up as much as Starhub.
Okay, this means that, in the meantime, I don't have a phone that's functioning properly.
So, please do not text me and expect me to know you text-ed me.

HAHAHA.
I realised that I'm totally forgotten as an OC head.
Perhaps it's cause I really have got nothing to do in terms of planning.
Well, we medics would have the number 1 importance when the camp starts.
WOOT!

During FMAH today, the teacher told us about this trip to Bintan.
I'm kinda interested in it, so I'm going to sign up for it! :D
It ain't exactly a very fun trip, but more of a community service one.
Not expecting much fun.
All I want from the trip is to get more tanned, and to bond more with the classmates, who are able to pass the interview -.-
I don't even know if I can pass it.
Thinking way too ahead.

TTP's in 4 days.
And I haven't even started with the revision.
DOOMED.
I'm way to tired to do it today. T___T.
What to do?

I'm lost.
I don't want to feel so different from the people in my class.

Had this truth or truth talk today with my class.
And I spoke to quite a few individuals today.
I got to know other people better.
Yes, I know about the type of people they liked today.
But I noticed that everyone has someone to be proud of.
Someone they can proudly say, I LIKE THIS PERSON!
Or them, being proud of themselves by saying, I don't want a relationship now!
But who do I have to be proud of?
Or, what can I be proud of?

I'm just someone who doesn't know where I stand?
I'm too sensitive at times.
I'm even too insensitive at times.
I'm immature.
I'm indecisive.
I can't give anyone any sense of security.
I don't want others to know how weak I can be, but how can I deny that I'm not?

Sometimes, I feel upset, upset that I can't do anything about myself.
Upset about anything around me.
And I try cheering myself up, by just acting crazy, or irritating people.
But people get offended.
I apologise, sincerely, and I promise I won't do it again.

I want to stop fighting this war that no one knows of.
Sure, I want to win this war.
But right from the start, I've already lost.
All I'm trying to do is to get myself back up.
So what comes after that?
I don't know.

I know I'm stronger than this.
But others don't see it the way I do.
Hardly anyone knows what I'm trying to do, or even, why do I even bother fighting this war?
Everyone says I'm going to lose.
Sometimes, I've really got no energy to carry on.

Yes, call me childish.
Yes, call me irritating.
Yes, call me disgusting.
Yes, make fun of how ugly I am.
Yes, make fun of how sissy I am.
Yes, criticize me on how stupid I am.
Yes, say how much I can't do something.
Yes, tell me how malicious or fake I can be.
I know that I'm every one of these things above.
And of which, there are really a lot of things I can't do about.
Yes, I'm trying to change.
Changing into someone, who can't be anymore fake.

I feel exhausted, from the day, and from all this stupid things that are coming into my head.
Good night.
I will try to forgive and forget, even to those whom I really hate.

Don't bother reading, it's just thrash going through my mind.

Just a short post before I continue with any homework/study whatsoever. :D
Just went swimming with Ben Soh.
I think swimming's great.
It's one of the easiest way to keep fit.
If not for that pathetic problem of mine, I'm sure to go everyday!
I'd be as fit as Linus, HAHAHHA, joking.

Before that, I went for study group with G club, minus that LF.
Ever busy.
Was walking to Causeway point for lunch, and this conversation came up.
As all Riversidians know, we've been changing principals like ever since 2005.
With that, it also means changing of rules and everything else concerned.
And coincidentally, today was CIP, recycle day.

Me: Hey, today's CIP day right, there were this bunch of people knocking on my door early in the morning.
Yekai: Yeah, it is, CIP day, with the 3Rs! Recycle, Reuse and Reduce right! (Yekai, you got the order wrong)
Patricia: Yeah lor, our school also have the 3Hs right.
Me: Eh, heads, hands & heart is it?
Patricia: Yeah!
Yekai: I think Riverside also has the 3Cs.
Patricia & I: Huh? Where got? What is it?

-Awaits for Yekai to say something very intelligent, what you always expect from him-
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Yekai: CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE.

-cues laughter here-
HAHAHAHAHAHA, WTH.
To think we thought highly of him.
.________________.
Okay, maybe it's not so funny now.
It was seriously the joke of the year just now when Yekai said it. -.-

It was an enriching experience, HAHAHAHA.
Till next time!

P.S. Bensoh, I can see that you've grown wider, and whiter. I suggest you eat less. -.-
P.P.S. I've lost the motivation to blog about Mercure, it's going to take very long.
P.P.P.S. PLAYLIST UPDATED, TOTALLY NEW PLAYLIST! :D

Good bye Mercure.
And hello Singapore.

First, I would like to apologise to Sokling for breaking the water goblet in her room.
Other than that, failing to dispose it properly resulting in the cut on her fingers.
SORRY! ><

I'm not to go into detail about the trip until the last batch leaves Singapore on Monday.
So, let's wait till then! :D

The first few days weren't as fun as I thought it would be.
The lectures were kinda boring.
Nevertheless, the best parts were spending time with you classmates, slacking and talking nonsense.
DTRM 04 FAGGALETTES FTW!

That's it for today, bye!

P.S. HAPPY 3 YEARS JEANETTE BURENO! ^^

I'm back from wakeboarding camp! :D
And yes, I know I've been blogging so little recently.
I don't know why I've lost the motivation to blog );

So I asked myself, why did I create a blog in the first place?
I have no idea, honestly.
I guess its cause everyone has a blog.
And to TRY to be "in", I got a blog of my own?
Hah, many of my friends have deleted their blogs.
So should I continue doing this?
I don't really know.

But meanwhile, lets welcome JEANO BURENO back to Singapore!
How was Mecure?
Fabulous? :D
It's gonna be my turn in 1 day's time.
I'm so looking forward to it.
I'm getting kinda sick though.
I hope it doesn't deteriorate to a condition which disallows me to go to Mecure );
GET WELL SOON DUDE!

So how was Wakeboarding camp?
It turned out a little boring.
Nevertheless, there were really fun parts of the camp too!
Well, I made quite a few friends to begin with.
And Benjamin Chua went for the camp too, which didn't make me feel lonely! :D (You know I'm anti-social)
I shall elaborate on 3 specific activities during the camp!

First off, nightwalk!
Okay, perhaps it wasn't really a traditional nightwalk.
It wasn't scary as we were walking blindfolded around the school in groups.
We campers, were supposed to walk around while getting "tekan-ed" by the GLs.
So we were sprayed with water.
We were asked to slide down a soapy hill.
We were asked to shout stuff like, "I'm gayboy!"
There was this one station where I had to look for a Pingpong ball in a dirty bucket of water filled with god knows what.
So I started digging, deep.
See what I've done wrong?
Pingpong balls float and not sink. -.-
We were placed in canvas sheets and "washing machined" with soap, sand, and other disgusting stuff.
My group bonded really much there.
Lots of inside jokes there.

Okay secondly, station games.
Probably the best station games I've ever had.
There was this specific station where we had to all apply lipstick.
-.-
And we had to "kiss" this guy's photo till there was lipstick all over his face.
It was probably the stupidest game I've ever played.
I ended up with lipstick all over my face.
Walao );
It's gonna make my skin so much worse.
I should have sit out.

Lastly, WINCH!
The BEST part of the camp, I swear.
The best thing I've ever done in camps.
We wakeboarded in the swimming pool, using a pulling machine!
First we had to learn the correct posture.
Then we had to learn how to stand properly, etcetc.
I waited and waited, and finally, it was my turn to ride!
So I took like 2minutes to wear those shoes, those super tight shoes -.-
I had 2 laps to ride.
i totally screwed up my first lap, by falling into the water twice.
I finally got the hang of it and made it all the way back on the 2nd lap.
WOOOO!
It was so much fun, seriously.
If I ever want to do it again, it's 80 dollars an hour.

WHAT THE HELL.
HAHAHAH.

I shall end by wishing 3 special people Happy Birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLARENCE (though I don't really know you.)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAY MY CAMP HAO PENG YOU! :D

Kthanksbye.